Question by DC: family is at the dinner table..."star" if funny?
The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases - each like a different type of tree. In his twenties, he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration!!!"

Best answer:

Answer by yorkie
hahahahahahahahaha

Add your own answer in the comments!

Technorati Tags: dinner, Family, funny, table...star

Going through a routine over and over again can be very boring.  Take for instance, you are meant to pass through a route for over 20 or 30 times, wont you get tried with time? this can be use to compare the attitude of sending Santa Claus Christmas cards, snowman Christmas cards, or Christmas tree cards every season.

For several uncountable Christmas we have used this cards to exchange compliments and expend  our affection for our beloved ones. They keep receiving this card from us over and over again, to an extent that it doesn't stir up any memories or create any impact on them because it is still same as the old once we sent to them.

This might get to a  point that they wont respond to your Christmas greeting because they are no longer excited about your gifts and greetings. You may keep imagining why they are not responding or may understand their situation but doesn't know how to turn thing around. 
here is the latest deal.

The use of  funny Christmas cards is the only option that will change your bored feeling towards Christmas cards. And give you a picture that will surely put a smile on your face and the face of your friends. You can tickle the fancy of your pals this moment of Christmas and throw into space a humorous pot-full comedy that will thrill them each time they remembers your seasonal compliments.

Do you wish to tease your friends and beloved ones with a comic pictures? Or do you wish to use  funny words or comments to boost their moods? Our funny Christmas cards will help you do that and even more. Do you wish to stir up an unending joy in the heart of your love ones, then change that picture with our funny Christmas cards and build an exciting emotion that will suit the moment of the season. Check through our unique funny Christmas cards and pick the ones that will brighten your day. 

More Christmas Cards Articles

Technorati Tags: cards, christmas, funny

www.nobleworkscards.com presents funny greeting cards for the holidays or any occasion. Free shipping. Check them out.
Video Rating: 3 / 5

Technorati Tags: cards, christmas, funny, holiday

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Here's a Christmas Shopping Guide to help you find the perfect gift for the special nerd in your life, from Computer Chronicles ... however, it's almost 23 years old. So it might be a little outdated. I'm not sure.

Gary Kildall shows us the Sony Picture Computer to add images to your VCR movies! Scribble some crap on the screen and color it. Superimpose your work of art and you'll be the hottest thing on YouTube! if only YouTube existed! Only $400!

Wall Street stock market crashed in October 1987 , and selling IBM and software like WordPerfect, Draw Plus, Chuck Yeager's Flight Instruction and Test Drive Accolade are flying off the shelves! 75% of sales are games.

Now we get to the hot items that you will definitely want in your stocking this year how about the Byline desktop publishing software for only $300? Or the perfect software for your 3.5" and 5.25" drives, the Laplink with a bunch of cables for only $100? And you just got to get "HIggins", your perfect productivity software for your "portable" 100lb laptop the size of a sewing machine! Who the needs a blackberry with this thing?! Great software for only #200!

Then you have the nifty Complete hand scanner from "Complete PC" to scan your Garry Larson Far Side cartoons! You can actually scan paper and it magically appears on your computer! Only $249!

Now we're taking portable computers! Check out that mouth watering Toshiba 1000! A steal for only $800. A portable 9-volt battery! A battery operated printer! And a neat-o piece to screw on a phone so you can plug your computer modem into any outlet!.. woo hoo! Then the perfect stocking stuffer for only 20 bucks, a folding velcro wallet that holds up to 9 3.5" diskettes!

Now we have a lovely lesbian playing with a satanic doll named Julie with a 64K memory. Poor Julie just wants to party and won't shut up. A Worlds of Wonder toy for $100. Then the annoying Mr, Game Show which reacts to an audio cassette, and it's also $100.

Now something for the Mac VIdeo Works 2 for $200 to create your animation needs. Software to talk to God for $50. Fortune cookies for your computer. Who needs google when you have world traveler software that is out of date before you open it!.

The Computer Chronicles was a US television series, broadcast during 1981-2002, which documented the rise of the personal computer from its infancy to the immense market at the turn of the century. The series was created in the Fall of 1981, by Stewart Cheifet (later co-host), then the station manager of the College of San Mateo's KCSM-TV, initially broadcast as a local weekly series. Jim Warren was its founding host for its 1981-1982 season. It aired continuously from 1981 to 2002 with Cheifet co-hosting most of its later seasons. Gary Kildall served as co-host for six years (1983 to 1990) providing insights and commentary on products as well as discussions on the future of the ever-expanding personal computer sphere.

During the 1980s, the show had many supporting presenters including:

* George Morrow: Presenter and commentator who for a time headed the Morrow Design company, Morrow was a well known face on the Chronicles until the 1990s. Morrow died in 2003.
* Paul Schindler: Featured predominantly in software reviews, Schindler contributed to the series until the early 1990s.
* Wendy Woods: Provided reports for many software and hardware products, as well as talking with the main presenters in the studio about specific topics.

The Computer Chronicles format remained relatively unchanged throughout its run, except perhaps with the noticeable difference in presenting style; originally formal it evolved into a more relaxed, casual style. From 1984 onward the last five minutes or so featured Random Access, a section which gave the viewer the latest computer news from the home and business markets. Stewart Chiefet, Janelle Stelson and various other individuals presented the segment. Random Access was discontinued in 1994.

Despite performing well in the ratings in the United States and being broadcast throughout the world, the Computer Chronicles was cancelled in 2002.

Dang!

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Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

Duration : 0:10:0

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Technorati Tags: 1980s, 1987, accolade, animation, apple, Before, black, black friday, byline, cartoon, Cartoons, cassette, chip, christmas, claus, computer, computer chronicles, Computers, cp/m, dbase, desktop, diskettes, doll, draw, drive, films, friday, from, funny, gary kildall, graphic, Guide, hacker, hat, higgins, IBM, julie, laplink, mac, micro, microchip, movies, nicholas, Night, of, old, pc, picture, plus, publishing, santa, Shopping, software, sony, st, talking, tape, test, the, VCR, visit, wonder, WordPerfect, world, xmasflix

The end is unbelievable! Must see!

Duration : 0:2:51

[youtube 8RRrrNpNwCk]

Technorati Tags: Amazing, ass, awesome, biggest, blond, Decoration, Decorations, Display, fast, fastest, funny, girl, girls, holiday, hot, largest, Light, tits

funny skit

Duration : 0:4:46

[youtube IUk0xpXJzM8]

Technorati Tags: Alex, Borstein, Collins, funny, Mo, skit, Stephanie, tv, Weir