Comments on: Christmas Survival Guide

By: Lisa Marie

Lisa Marie — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:56:59 +0000

Tell your husband to stand up to his family. He needs to tell them HE has seen the bad way they treat you and if it happens again there will be no more visits-ever! Make sure he doesn’t mention your complaints other wise they will just think you are a b**** and he is following your orders.

You should continue to be kind to them. Bring a nice gift, smile and say thank you for the invite.

Your husband is the only one who can put an end to this. Good luck!
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By: thknuvu

thknuvu — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:54:59 +0000

Keep in the back of your mind that their bigoted ignorance is not a reflection on you or anything you have done, it is solely them. You will not raise your children in the same way and your are doing this for your husband who will make it up to you tenfold when you get home!
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By: fitted2feather

fitted2feather — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:52:59 +0000

This is YOUR time for some fun. Don’t feel bad because they are rude and jerks. This gives you the opportunity to be really obnoxious. Pass loud gas, belch, give people sex toy presents, use the F word in every sentence. If his family is that rude, and he doesn’t tell them to behave and respect you, then do all this and more. He he gets mad at you, tell him they are bringing this out in you, and tell him how you really feel. The holidays are a happy time.
Play into their racism, reinforce thier ignorance, twist it upon themselves. Make up stories: like you were looking into the geneology of the family and someones great-great-grandmother was a street prostitute and there great-great-great-grandfather was poor white trash.

Why go spend it with A-holes? I have gotten the same or like treatment from relatives before and I find the holidays can be just as fun with friends "who" actually like you than with jerks.
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By: fainstl

fainstl — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:50:59 +0000

My ex in-laws treated me the same.
So at the beginning of the day, a tension headache would start, which required about 5 aspirin to relieve.
Then the drive there, even my car’s "check engine" light would appear.
That’s how bad the karma was being around these people.
Then when leaving their home, the check engine light would turn off.

But I would get the usual; door slammed closed in my face, the old "Oh, I didn’t see you there" apology, the icy stares and sighs of disgust from them, I would take out a book and just read it the whole time I was there.
My ex would get mad at me, stating I should have been in the kitchen socializing.
But hell, when the mother is telling her son all of the available women in the neighborhood, and how he made a mistake of marrying me, WHY would I want to be involved with that?
Unfortunately, his family put a wedge so far between us that we divorced.

So if I were you, I’d just tell the husband he can go visit his family by himself, and you won’t have to endure a crappy holiday with people that don’t like you.
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By: msdnmo

msdnmo — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:48:59 +0000

Have a few before you go if it settles you but don’t get drunk. That’ll just give them more to gossip about. Be yourself, be polite and friendly and NEVER let them know they’re getting to you. Rise above it.

I use to teach preschool and I always tended to look at my (former) in-laws as the special needs kids I worked with.

And if all else fails, just flat out ask them ‘what the hell is the matter with you people’. And get things rolling and then just stand back and let them have it.
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By: vivianowusu

vivianowusu — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:46:59 +0000

just be your self…first of all, you are married to your husband not your in laws. Your husband married you bc he loves u for you and not more..there is no need for you to suck up to anyone. Be polite and warm, wish them a happy holidays and put your best foot forward and keep it moving. If you kill people with your kindness, there is nothing for them to say.. and if they do, thats their problem not yours.. and remember to enjoy yourself…
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By: msverychocolate

msverychocolate — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:44:59 +0000

SMILE, WALK WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH, BE CORDIAL AND IF THEY THROW DIRTY, SNIDE COMMENTS YOUR WAY GIVE THEM A DOUBLE DOSE OF IT BACK WITH A SMILE!

GOOD LUCK!
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By: Diane

Diane — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:42:59 +0000

Well I understand totally. I have been married 23 years and STILL I feel I’m from the "wrong side of the tracks"… I call them the "outlaws"… every other year we do the "in laws" and the "outlaws"… I just smile and am SILENT. I am just pleasant and don’t say anything but smile and I call "stupid" talk…like "oh that’s a pretty dress you have on"..or talk about the weather…or "such a lovely house you have… I love all the food you made. Anything NICE about your husband would be a good thing… (stupid but just be nice) they can’t possiblly keep up the attitude twoards you if you only have good and positive things to say. If they say something IN FRONT of you, just say, "I’m sorry you feel that way"…HAAA!! Good luck! I do get it.. It’s part of life that we just have to deal with when being married…(and my father-in-law is a pastor!)
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By: Anne A

Anne A — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:40:59 +0000

Cocktails are always needed in situations like this…Oddly enough Im dealing with the exact same situation only its my OWN family…My only advice is to put your very best foot forward. You have NO control over what they do but you want to feel Good about yourself once its all over!!!
For me, its keeping a smile on my face no matter how hurt I am! I suck up the hurt and act as though I have no cares about why they need to attack me. Chat with the people who are most friendly, sick close to your man and smile.
Remind yourself that ITS NEARLY OVER – just survive the moment and whatever you do…DO NOT REACT with anger or bitterness. I find that this diffuses their emotional upsets as surely they don’t intend to hurt you. (HA! right…I know)

I also suggest not getting to crazy with the liquid numbing ( cocktails) Ive decided not to drink this holiday because If I get tipped…I could really take Christmas down the toilet with my own dirty looks and hateful thoughts…Be careful, you are stuck with them for life.
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By: freetobe_007

freetobe_007 — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:38:59 +0000

Dont let it get under your skin. Not sure the type of person you are but for me, it becomes comical. I would butt into conversations that they have deliberately left me out of and add my two cents with a smile. Once they continue as if I am not in the room, I would start talking to my husband and make sure to kiss him everytime they do something that annoyed me.

I would continue doing this and simply talk to my husband while I am there. If they are talking to him then I will definitely get in the conversation and after he has responded, I would add in a comment or two about what he said and look at him and smile.

Be as pleasant as you can and make sure to kiss your hubby on the cheek or mouth everytime you are annoyed. At the end of the night, add up the kisses and know that is how many times you had to deal internally with their crap.

You know what, usually this works really well. Someone eventually starts to say something to you because you are just too pleasant to care about their small shananigans…never ever allow them to see you are upset. It is all about your husband, their children, their pets and definitely BE apart of the conversation. If what they say is snide, remember your remark is pleasant. Their goal is to make you feel uncomfortable and have something to talk about however, with your pleasant attitude and responses, there is nothing to say but good things. LOL….whew I wish I could be a fly on your wall!!!

Before you know it, you are laughing all the way home and looking forward to the next time!! They start to dread it and are forced to either change or modify when you are around.

Best of luck and have fun!!!
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