Can you please critique my poem is for a greeting card contest? Be as blunt as you can. Please. Thanks. I appreciate it.
The True Meaning of Christmas
Crazy time of year
Headaches from last minute shopping
Road rage experienced getting to the mall
Intelligent reasons for not giving someone a gift
Silly gifts boyfriends give each year
Tape we use when wrapping our gifts
Merriment we feel our first time getting our loved ones that right gift
Anxiety we experience when giving out crummy gifts
Secret Santas we wish we never had
What do you feel is wrong with tone or message? What should I fix? Is it too long? Does it miss the mark, if so, how can i mend it into a better suitable poem? I am missing comas, are they any spelling or grammatical errors. I am sending this card to tomorrow. the truth hurts but i can handle it. Thanks.
You won't win a greeting card contest with such a downer of a poem. You need to have a more upbeat tone, it needs to be shorter, you need to lose some cynicism.
Filed under: Christmas Cards
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sound good to me
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Greeting cards need to be much shorter and there needs to be a funny punchline…I understand the sentiment and it’s something we all can relate too which is great but if you leave it that way it’s just depressing…
Like if you say:
Had to visit all the relatives we usually avoid out of fear
But at least we got leftovers to take home for the year!
…it’s comiserating but there is a happy ending(sorta) LOL:)
Hope that made sense…
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i like your peom
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You won’t win a greeting card contest with such a downer of a poem. You need to have a more upbeat tone, it needs to be shorter, you need to lose some cynicism.
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I LOVE your poem as a poem, but as a Greeting Card, NO. It’s too long and much too negative, Definitely leave out the parts about the road rage and the crummy gifts. You say the contest is for a Greeting Card. Are we talking about Alternative Greeting cards for Christmas. As I said, I truly think the poem is wonderful. I just think you are trying to put it in the wrong venue.
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well im definitly in the post xmas mood know-um thanx alot? and xmas cards are spouseda make ppl happy?!?!?!?!?
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