Monday, February 15th, 2010 at
5:36 am
Can you please critique my poem is for a greeting card contest? Be as blunt as you can. Please. Thanks. I appreciate it.
The True Meaning of Christmas
Crazy time of year
Headaches from last minute shopping
Road rage experienced getting to the mall
Intelligent reasons for not giving someone a gift
Silly gifts boyfriends give each year
Tape we use when wrapping our gifts
Merriment we feel our first time getting our loved ones that right gift
Anxiety we experience when giving out crummy gifts
Secret Santas we wish we never had
What do you feel is wrong with tone or message? What should I fix? Is it too long? Does it miss the mark, if so, how can i mend it into a better suitable poem? I am missing comas, are they any spelling or grammatical errors. I am sending this card to tomorrow. the truth hurts but i can handle it. Thanks.
You won't win a greeting card contest with such a downer of a poem. You need to have a more upbeat tone, it needs to be shorter, you need to lose some cynicism.